Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Randomize
