he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
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