i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
I need moral support for this bender
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
