Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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