Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
Why are your pants in the freezer?
Your penis caused this!
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
