idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Randomize
