Don't you send me to vm
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Randomize
