Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
Randomize
