I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
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