I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
Randomize
