so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
