What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
