How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Randomize
