What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
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