I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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