I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
Randomize