"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
my poor anus
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
Randomize
