If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
i drank out of a bidet.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
