i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
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