The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
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