apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
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