Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Randomize
