Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
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