So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Randomize
