i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
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