oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Randomize
