Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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