i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
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