and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
