You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
im having a threesome with these popsicles
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
