Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
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