So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
Randomize
