hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Is that strawberry winking at me??
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
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