I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
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