is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Randomize
