I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize
