i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Randomize
