I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
splinters make it hard to masturbate
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
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