i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
