I'd wear matching sweaters with you
i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
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