My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
