Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Randomize
