I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
