Dude my mom stole all your condoms
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
