It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Randomize
