i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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