I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
Randomize
