Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Randomize
