Me too!
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
where are my eyebrows?
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
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