so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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