the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Randomize
