some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
