I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
