Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
Dicks are not precious.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize