i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
