doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
What a dumb baby whore.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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