literally had 100 drinks last night.
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Randomize
