new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Randomize
