can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Someone shattered a urinal.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
