he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
Randomize
